CREATING INTIMACY

By Dr. Heather Browne

So, you want to be closer to your partner, but want a few creative ways to delight and cultivate intimacy? Let’s play!

Intimacy can be fun, passionate, healing, deep, and powerful.

Let’s start with physical intimacy.

1. Sit across from each other with your eyes closed. Reach out and simply touch hands. As you do, think, “I want to love you with my hands.” Explore this for a few minutes. Thank your partner. What did you feel? What were you aware of? Share with your partner with your eyes closed. Next, release your hands, and open your eyes. Look into your partner’s eyes and think, “I want to love you with my eyes.” Explore this for a few minutes. How does looking deeply into your partner’s eyes make you feel? Share your awarenesses.

2. Lay on your bed cuddled up in each other’s arms. For five minutes share loving thoughts. “I am so glad to be here with you.” “It feels so good in your arms.” “This feels like home.” etc. No TV or phone, just words of love.

3. Get feathers, ribbons, and ice. Give each other a back massage but with these items. End with the ice. What are the sensations that you became aware of? Which did you like better and why?

4. Kiss every age spot. If you don’t have many, kiss each mole. This is a silly one, so you might start laughing.

Now how about some emotional intimacy?

1. Think back to your favorite trip together. Recall the moment in detail with your partner. “We are sitting in the sun rays by the gazebo. You’ve wrapped your arm around me and it feels so warm and good. The wind is soft and it keeps blowing your beautiful hair.” Share your whole memory and how it made you feel.

2. When was the last time you remember that wonderful butterfly feeling? Share in depth with your partner. “I remember falling in love with you two summers ago at the chicken ranch. You came out of the henhouse all worried about the chicks and it was the sweetest expression…”

3. Share a time you felt safest with your partner. Share how this changed the way you feel about yourself and with them. “When I told you Mama died and you wrapped me up in your arms and said you’d protect me so I wouldn’t ever be alone…”

4. Share a memory of when you felt the most loved by your partner. Go into detail and why and how this made you feel. Let them know what this means to you still. “There have been dozens. But my last birthday when you gathered all our family and friends….” Have fun! Sharing what feels good to your body and heart is a huge part of intimacy.

Play and be touched.