CONTROLLING PARTNERS USUALLY EXHIBIT THESE 9 BEHAVIORS, ACCORDING TO PSYCHOLOGY
People who need to exert authority over their partners share common toxic traits.
By Nicole Yi
The phrase “love is blind” couldn’t be truer. When you’re infatuated with somebody, you see what you want to see and ignore the maybe not-so-great parts of who they are.
But the truth is, a relationship that’s unbalanced in any form is an unhealthy one. It also doesn’t matter whether or not your significant other is asserting power over you based on their insecurities.
Controlling partners usually exhibit these 9 behaviors, according to psychology:
1. They need to know where you are at all times
They don’t like being left in the dark, so they require you to keep them posted on your whereabouts.
It is not your job to make them feel secure about themselves. You can do your part as a loving partner to help, but their doubts will almost always overpower your efforts.
2. They need you to be in constant communication with them
They might feel threatened by the person they’re with, and their insecurities get the best of them. They get upset about unreturned texts and calls.
According to research, jealousy and constantly checking on your whereabouts might be precursors to more severe abuse.
3. They’re vocal about who they don’t like you hanging out with
Whether it’s exes, friends of the opposite gender, close pals, or family members, they’re not afraid to let you know who they approve or disapprove of.
4. They randomly check in on you
It’s not unusual to receive phone calls in the middle of work or during dinner with friends, even though you’ve already given them a heads-up.
5. They don’t like you being out too long without them
They’re possessive and don’t like the idea of having to share you with others.
6. They don’t give you any privacy
They ask to see your phone or computer to figure out who you’ve been talking to and about what.
7. They always give you an ultimatum
To have their way, they make you choose between them and others through guilt or threats.
According to research, these behaviors can aim to undermine a person’s self-worth or self-esteem, control, and isolate them.
8. They don’t let you talk to certain people
They’ve expressed who they don’t feel comfortable with you keeping in touch with, and get upset if you do.
9. You feel restricted in any way
Trust your gut. If you feel like you’re trapped or unable to live your life freely, consider leaving this relationship if things don’t improve after discussing them with your partner.
The notion that true love means being accepting of your partner’s best and worst qualities complicates things further.
The line between accepting abuse and being tolerant of their flaws is especially blurred in the eyes of someone dangerously in love. They might see a partner being controlling as a way of showing how much they love them.
