5 QUALITIES OF FORGIVENESS IN MARRIAGE
By Marriage.com Editorial Team
No matter how compatible you may be with your spouse, the imperfections in humanity can lead to conflict in a marriage. The act of forgiveness in couples fosters love and commitment for a fruitful marriage. The reality of marriage takes away the fantasy and fallacy associated with dating. It is only after marriage that you realize your partner’s flaws, and you have to accept them for a long and satisfying union. That acceptance and willingness are elements of forgiveness.
You have to live with someone with whom you will have a difference of opinion; you share separate schools of thought, diverse tastes and lifestyle which can be difficult to deal with, yet you still choose to spend your life with them. Not that you are desperate. You look at the overall goal of your marriage. The fact that you accommodate each other is a key pillar in marriage. You choose to let go in agreement.
Do not confuse forgiveness with accepting vices like abuse. It is an act of pardon for any wrongdoing after serious deliberations. It is also not a choice to stay silent with hurt feelings; that builds bitterness, which is suicidal in the journey of marriage. Family psychologists admit that couples who never compromise on their pride to forgive their partners are less likely to solve their conflicts. In most cases, that leads to separation or divorce. On the contrary, couples who practice forgiveness and can make sacrifices to accommodate their spouse go on to have healthy marriages. They can withstand a serious conflict and laugh over it after forgiveness.
Forgiveness is an intuitive attribute that grows over time when a spouse chooses to look at the positive perspective of their marriage. They are willing to release the grudge as opposed to harboring it, which further leads to extreme bitterness. Marriage counselors admit the difficulty they experience when they try to reconcile couples who have bitterness in their hearts.
The five qualities of a forgiving marriage relationship
1. Acknowledge the mistakes and let go of them
You cannot forgive an act that you don’t know. In addition, you have to accept that it is already done and you have no power to change it, but you have the power to admit its existence. Your work is now to move on with your life as a married couple.
The forgiven partner must also show remorse to the forgiving partner to have a peaceful transition in the forgiveness journey. The will and commitment will shorten the time to digest the level of hurt for forgiveness to take the center stage.
2. Harbors positive emotions
Forgiveness and bitterness never fall in the same bracket. A relationship based on forgiveness has no negative emotions because those lead to resentment and bitterness. Instead, it replaces negative emotions with love, respect, and positivity to improve physical and emotional health.
Forgiveness is all about the forgiving partner, and not the forgiven spouse. The moment couples realize they need to forgive for their own benefit, it speeds the healing process to forge ahead with the marital responsibility for happiness in their marriage.
3. Portrays grace and mercy
From a Christian principle, we live by God’s grace and His mercy. At times, the hurt feelings are too deep to handle with your own mind, but with the reassurance of God’s teaching on forgiveness, you have the grace and mercy to forgive your partner. Forgiveness in marriage is kind and compassionate.
4. It is unconditional
You choose to forgive with no obligation. You do not compel your spouse to fulfill some conditions as a ticket to win your heart for forgiveness. His or her role is to accept his involvement in the conflict and be willing to work on it. Even if he refuses to admit it despite the evidence, people are different. Your act of forgiveness has a role to play in changing your partner’s actions for a healthy marriage.
5. Has a peaceful and loving atmosphere
This kind of marriage enjoys all the love and a peaceful atmosphere to have a good time with one another. Forgiveness in a marriage makes the difference between a happy and an unhappy marriage.
Forgiveness is a choice to remove feelings of hatred towards your spouse despite the severity of the hurt. With this, you only accept positive emotions with no mission for revenge. You allow God to take control of the situation for a permanent solution. It is a journey that can even take years; at the same time, you have no obligation to the number of times you need to forgive your partner.
